Summer Parenting Time: Focusing On Your Children’s Best Interest in a Divorce
The truth is divorce and separation are hard – for adults and especially for children. If you’re contemplating a divorce or legal separation, currently divorce or separated, or moving forward with your life after a divorce, the reality is that your children must be your priority. They didn’t have a choice in this situation and they can’t understand, nor should they be told, all the reasons why Mom and Dad aren’t together any more. The focus for you and your ex-spouse must be to put your children’s best interests first, despite your feelings for each other.
PARENTING TIME AND EXTENDED SUMMER VISITS
It’s difficult to get past your own hurt, anger, and frustration during an extremely difficult time in your life. The reality is that children hurt too, even if they try to hide it. Take a look at this honest conversation that Jon Acuff had with a young boy flying home from a 3-month summer visit with his mother.
A CHILD’S BASIC NEEDS – FREEDOM TO LOVE AND BE LOVED BY BOTH PARENTS
The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines clearly lays out a child’s basic needs when spending time with their parents. This first section of the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines is often overlooked, yet abundantly important for your children’s future. Read these following 8 point slowly and return to them often.
In order to insure more responsible parenting and to promote the healthy adjustment and growth of a child, each parent should recognize and address a child's basic need:
1. To know that the parents' decision to live apart is not the child's fault.
2. To develop and maintain an independent relationship with each parent and to have the continuing care and guidance from each parent.
3. To be free from having to side with either parent and to be free from conflict between the parents.
4. To have a relaxed, secure relationship with each parent without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other.
5. To enjoy regular and consistent time with each parent.
6. To be financially supported by each parent, regardless of how much time each parent spends with the child.
7. To be physically safe and adequately supervised when in the care of each parent and to have a stable, consistent and responsible child care arrangement when not supervised by a parent.
8. To develop and maintain meaningful relationships with other significant adults (grandparents, stepparents and other relatives) as long as these relationships do not interfere with or replace the child's primary relationship with the parents.
SUPPORT FOR CHILDREN
If you believe your child could use support, encouragement, and people to talk to after your divorce, I strongly recommend finding a counselor for your child to speak with and the New Day for Children of Divorce program. The goal of New Day is to help children and their parents adjust to the divorce and manage their grief in a healthy way. This program meets twice per month during the school year and allows children to express their feelings in creative and healthy ways. Please visit New Day’s website at http://newdayindy.org/ for additional information and the next steps to register your child for this beneficial program. Please feel free to email me at erin@erinjohnsonlegal.com if you need recommendations for local counselors.
This blog does not constitute legal advice nor does it establish an attorney client relationship. This is for general information purposes as in most legal situations the facts and terms of an agreement between the parties can affect the results.