As you may have noticed, I am passionate about the power of books to help us learn, grow, imagine and be inspired to live our own compelling stories. So, here is a short collection of relevant, insightful books on my bookshelf I would like to share with you for both your enrichment and enjoyment.
— Warmly, your Attorney, Erin
Persevering Through Hardship
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
When the reality of the brokenness of the world is unbearably real and all too tangible in our own lives, lament is the way through the darkness. It is scary to face the full weight of grief and sorrow in the face of suffering instead of repressing or rejecting our feelings, but the relief of doing so is powerful and freeing. This book, written by local pastor, Mark Vroegop, gives a practical manual on how to engage in sorrow in a healthy and productive way. He speaks to the significance of lamentation in our spiritual lives and offers advice on how to approach it through personal anecdotes and scriptural references. He also discusses the difficulties of living in a fallen world and offers encouragement for discovering meaning and purpose despite hardship. Considering the work I do, helping people through some of life’s most difficult situations and also planning for the certainty of death, I’m so glad this book exists. It will help you keep faith and build fortitude when facing the hardships of this life.
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant
This book explores how individuals can recover from devastating losses and rebuild their lives. Inspired by Sheryl Sandberg's personal experience after the sudden death of her husband, the book delves into her journey through grief, guided by the psychological insights of co-author, Adam Grant, a psychologist and professor.
The central premise of the book is that when Option A—the life we planned or hoped for—is no longer available, we must make the most of Option B. Sandberg combines personal anecdotes with scientific research to illustrate strategies for building resilience, such as leveraging personal strengths, seeking support from others, and finding deeper meaning in life's challenges. For navigating the aftermath of loss, whether from the death of a loved one or through divorce, this book offers practical advice on coping with grief and learning to experience joy again. It emphasizes the importance of community and support, the power of resilience, and the possibility of finding new paths forward, making it a valuable resource during tough transitions.
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
This is a transformative book that introduces readers to a method of self-inquiry known as "The Work." This technique is designed to help individuals question and ultimately change the thoughts that cause them suffering. The core premise of Byron Katie's approach is that suffering stems not from the world around us, but from our beliefs about it, and that questioning these beliefs can lead to greater inner peace and happiness.
By learning to question your thoughts, you learn to separate your perceptions from objective reality and often find that many of your underlying assumptions are distorted or untrue. This process can be particularly liberating for individuals dealing with challenging life circumstances such as relationship conflicts, personal setbacks, or emotional turmoil. This book is especially beneficial for those who feel stuck or overwhelmed by negative thoughts and are seeking a way to shift their perspective and embrace their reality with acceptance and clarity.
The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
This is a strongly motivational memoir written by Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch Christian who helped Jews from the Nazis in WWII. The ten Boom family attempted to conceal Jews in their home, and the book details their eventual arrest and imprisonment in extermination camps. The book serves as a potent testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming misfortune as well as a celebration of the importance of forgiveness and faith. Corrie ten Boom provides insights and teachings on the nature of suffering, the significance of forgiving others, and the tenacity of the human spirit via her own experiences. I just think that every once in a while we need to read a book like this, which offers perspective, inspires resilience, and cultivates gratitude for life.
Viewing Your Own Life as a Story
The Power of TED by David Emerald
This is the #1 book I would recommend to clients looking at how to move forward after experiencing a divorce. Not only does the author give a simple, actionable framework for creating a compelling story forward, but the characters he introduces are moving through the very same situation. In short, the framework presented serves as a manual for freeing yourself from unhealthy habits, which we are all prone to, and realize your full potential adopting a more proactive, growth-oriented, empowering mindset.
Own Your Past Change Your Future by Dr. John Delony
This book helps readers confront their past, understand their present, and positively shape their future. Dr. Delony, with his background in mental health and wellness, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding one’s past experiences to break free from patterns that hold one back.
The book is structured around the idea that understanding our stories and relationships can lead to profound changes in how we view ourselves and interact with others. Delony provides tools and exercises designed to help readers explore their emotions, relationships, and the narratives they have created about their lives. This introspective journey is aimed at fostering a deeper sense of self-awareness and resilience.
For someone considering this book, especially those dealing with issues like divorce, loss, or significant life changes, Dr. Delony offers a path to not just coping but thriving. By owning their past, readers are encouraged to make informed and intentional choices that can lead to a more fulfilling and controlled future. This book is particularly helpful for individuals looking to leave behind detrimental habits or thoughts and embrace a more optimistic and proactive outlook on life.
Hero on a Mission by Donald Miller
Echoing the themes of writer Joseph Campbell and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, this book explores the concept of living a life of purpose and fulfillment. Donald Miller had previously written best-selling autobiography, Blue Like Jazz, which he later rewrote as a screenplay. This experience helped him see that with the right story framework in mind, everyone has the potential to be a hero, which he defines as someone who lives with intention and impact. The book offers practical guidance for identifying one's unique talents and passions and using them to make a positive difference in the world. He also addresses the challenges of living a hero's life, which require courage, resilience, and a strong sense of identity. This type of book has been written many times over, but Donald Miller is a great writer and doesn’t hold back sharing the good and bad from his own life in a way that’s refreshing and encouraging.
Living & Leaving a Legacy
On the Shortness of Life by Lucius Seneca
This classic book is one recommended by Dan, it’s a short essay and more approachable than you’d think considering the time period it was written, but it may not be your taste and that’s okay — here’s a summary. In it, the Roman philosopher, Seneca, argues life is not too short, but rather people waste their time pursuing and distracted by unfulfilling activities. He urges us to engage in self-reflection and accepting our mortality so we can better prioritize what is truly important in life, such as personal growth, relationships, and meaningful work.
Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks
This is an insightful book that addresses the challenges and opportunities of finding fulfillment in the latter stages of one’s career and life. Drawing on a combination of social science research, philosophical insights, and personal anecdotes, Brooks explores the concept of transitioning from a life focused on professional success to one rich in personal meaning and contribution.
Brooks discusses the idea that people reach a peak in their professional careers often earlier than expected, after which they might struggle with diminishing returns on professional success. He proposes a shift towards activities that leverage wisdom, give back to others, and foster spiritual and emotional growth—activities that he describes as playing to one’s strengths in the "second curve" of life.
For someone planning their legacy, "Strength to Strength" offers valuable guidance on how to pivot from striving for success to imparting significance. Brooks encourages readers to think about how they can use their accumulated skills and experiences to influence positively and leave a lasting impact. This book is particularly helpful for those contemplating how to share their wealth of knowledge, mentor the next generation, or engage in philanthropic efforts, thereby crafting a legacy that extends beyond material success to encompass enduring values and contributions to society.
Beyond the Grave by Gerald & Jeffrey Condon
This book is written by father-son authors who provide a comprehensive overview of estate planning, addressing both the practical and emotional aspects that come with preparing for the future, ensuring that your assets are distributed according to your wishes.
The Condons emphasize the importance of clear communication and careful planning to prevent family disputes and legal challenges after one's passing. They cover a range of topics, including wills, trusts, tax strategies, and the nuances of leaving assets to family members under various circumstances. The book also discusses the impact of different estate decisions on relationships and how to balance fairness and need among heirs.
Erin is well-versed in the contents of this book and also has a decade of her own experience to draw upon to guide you through these matters, so it’s unnecessary to read this before consulting with Erin, but we suggest this book for those who wish to be more informed.
Faces of Generosity by Ronald Blue & Co.
This is a book I received as a gift from my friends at Ronald Blue Trust. The book features compelling, real-life stories of generosity and offers insights and guidance for cultivating a generous spirit from a faith perspective, including practical advice for managing finances, giving to charitable causes, and developing a mindset of abundance. It also promotes the benefits of generosity, including increased happiness, improved relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. If you’re considering how generosity might play a role in the financial legacy you leave through your will, this is a great read for you!
Supporting Others
There Is No Good Card for This by Kelsey Crowe & Emily McDowell
As I guide people through many difficult situations, I’ve found the guidance of this book quite helpful. It offers practical advice for supporting friends and loved ones who are going through difficult times. The book discusses typical difficulties that individuals encounter while attempting to provide consolation and assistance, like anxiety over saying the incorrect thing or feeling overtaken by others' emotions. It’s kind of a step-by-step manual for offering helpful support for specific situations such as illness, loss, and trauma with advice on active listening, empathy, and practical assistance.